I will never forget the way my dear friend Kimberly Brown, Miss Black Alabama, squeezed my hand when my name was called as this years winner. It was in that moment that I accepted this new position. It was in that squeeze that I received her blessing as a sister- it was a feeling that made me walk a little taller; stand a little stronger.
My name is Shayna Y. Rudd. I am a curse breaker. I was never suppose to be Miss Howard University, Miss District of Columbia, grace the stage of Miss America, OR the Stage of Miss Black USA- But God saw fit for me to not only grace those stages, but to leave his spirit as a reminder that " Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE with God". Thus, I am merely his vessel, who gets to wear things that sparkle.
My first few days as Miss Black USA were humbling. Trust me, it's not easy balancing the title, My non profit ( The LadyDiva Corporation, www.ladydivaforlife.com), and lesson planning for some of Washington DC's most intelligent 10th graders, but I managed to find a way to make it all work. It wouldn't be possible without my firm belief that the gifts of God are without repentance. Thus, I try not complain about the work load, or allow others to make me wish away the gifts he's given me. Please remember, God makes no mistakes. His promises will manifest themselves in HIS timing. Stand Still and know that your time is coming! Just be in a position to receive it. I can honestly say that this time, I was prepared because I allowed God to try me thru the fire in order to pave the way for me to presented as pure gold. The Beauty of being presented as gold, after being humbled greatly through trials, is that God gets ALL the glory- I am merely a living example of how fabulous he is.
As I walk through my days knowing that I represent the past, present, and future of the Black woman , I am reminded of every dream that I also represent. From my great grandmothers desire to graduate from high school to her daughters desire to learn to read, to my cousins passion for me to understand the curse that I MUST be determined to break and my students desire to see themselves as more than victims of rape- this time is for more than you and I. It's for them. So, I challenge you to live your dreams and live the dreams of "we" as well. Our lives are ours to live, but choose to live them with a heartbeat that connects with others.
This is the first of many entries that will chronicle my journey as Miss Black USA 2009. However, please know that you are reading the words of an emergent woman. One who has made and will continue to make mistakes, but has found the beauty in her flaws and hopes to help others find it too. I am the chosen one for this time, but I realize that all of this attention, and acclaim doesn't make me any more of a woman that the battered woman in a shelter, the sister who sells her body, or mother who is addicted to crack. We are all one. I need you in order to be me. Thus, I need you to be Miss Black USA. Every person shares in this moment with me and I feel honored to be the representative of such a rich people.
Home is where the heart is. Therefore, it is no surprise that I feel home as your queen. I embrace this moment. I manage it wisely as God is clearly the owner. And I vow to you that this title is a movement towards a greater understanding of who we are as a people. Therefore I challenge you to MOVE towards something greater, truer, deeper...
MOVE towards the greatest parts of you....
and then I promise you too will be home.
- Shayna Rudd, Miss Black USA 2009 aka "Shay"
